Unbelievably Good

It’s been three months since I moved down to Gainesville, GA, in anticipation and hope that the Lord would open the doors for me to participate in CGA. With only one week before I begin the program, I have been reflecting on the Lord’s faithfulness during this season of waiting. There has been an infinite amount blessings this season that have put me in awe of the countless answered prayers, undeserved blessings, and fruitful growth that has come about in such a short amount of time. God has been unbelievably good and has shaped my understanding of what it means to walk in His favor.

I can remember coming back from the World Race in June last year without having a car, a job, or a clue what to do. When I was on the WR the Lord told me not to worry about planning ahead for those things because He was going to take care of it. In believing that He could and He would, I genuinely came back with no plans and no money. God in His goodness did in fact come to my aid during the craziness of re-entry, and at the perfect times provided a car, a job, a place to live, food to eat, and a vision for this next year. When I decided to commit myself to going to CGA in August I still didn’t have a car, a job, money, or a plan. The only thing I had was a promise from God that He would bless my decision if I committed to going. With that promise, I decided to move down at the end of September before even knowing how I would do it. A friend opened her home for me to rent a room in, and about a week or so before I moved down He provided a car and a job for me too. My first day down I went straight into work and was welcomed by familiar faces from the World Race who came to shower me with support and love. It was a scenario that has felt too good to be true, but has shown to be God fulfilling His promise to provide and be faithful.

After starting my job at a Dunkin’ coffee shop I realized God was fulfilling and growing a calling He placed on my heart during a bus ride when I was in Nepal to do coffee shop ministry some day. He had planted a seed for a dream to open up a coffee shop of my own that I could use as a mission field and a means to go do missions. Since my first day at Dunkin’ I have had many opportunities to pray with people, challenge and share truths with my coworkers, and build relationships over a cup of coffee. My dream of one day owning my own coffee shop as an avenue for missions has continued to be flamed and shaped by my current experiences. He has blessed the work I’ve been doing and has already taught me so much about coffee ministry. Additionally, into about a month and a half of working at Dunking the night shift manager position became up for grabs. I asked if I could fill it, knowing very well I have never worked a managerial position, and I’ve only worked at the shop for a short amount of time. My manager to my surprise approved my request and has agreed that when CGA starts I will have my first managerial job with hours that compliment my CGA schedule. I’m telling you these blessings are overflowing!!!

For those of you who know me, accepting things that I don’t feel like I’ve earned or deserve is really hard. I like to work for what I want, and I definitely feel more secured about receiving something when I do. However, God is my Father and He loves to give me free gifts just because He can. I haven’t accepted some of His gifts in the past because I feared that if I didn’t earn them I could lose them just as quickly as I received them. In this past three months there have been times where I have been like “Ok, God. When are you going to stop answering my prayers? When is the hard stuff going to hit?” It’s difficult to believe or even fathom that God could be so good that there is no catch to His blessings. He doesn’t have conditions on His love or His faithfulness. I know this is something that we talk about all of the time, but this season God has been walking me through experiencing this Truth. He truly is unbelievably good. He wants to walk through this life with me on a moment to moment basis, and accomplish incredible things. As I’ve grown to know and reflect my Father’s heart I see where life with Him is so good, fruitful and blessed. Even on the days I don’t want to even get out of bed I have a abundant blessings because of my relationship with God.

The craziest part is knowing that this has been His desire for my life all along, I just have never had the vision to see it or have the acceptance of it before. He has always tried to shower me with His blessings and favor, but I was too hard headed and insecure to receive it. He has always had great things in store for me, but in fear of the unknown I have stuck to my own plans and my own decision making skills. Jesus said “Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.” (Matthew 18:3, Luke 18:17) The Father has shown me in this season that part of having child like faith is trusting the goodness of His Fatherly character. He has it all figured out and is taking care of everything. He’s the cool dad that takes you to work with Him all the time. He likes to draw you in for hugs and build you up into being the strong, beautiful creation He designed you to be. This doesn’t mean you always get what you want, because He will only do what is best and nothing less. This also doesn’t mean that everything will go smoothly and always be without hardship. He is a Father that also disciplines (Hebrews 12:6, Proverbs 3:12) and refines us (Psalm 66:10, Isaiah 48:10). In discipline and refinement, however, there are still many blessings to be counted (2 Corinthians 12:10, James 1:2).

All of this to say, through the ups and downs of this season God has done many incredible things that have fired me up for when CGA starts. With all that I’m learning and growing in I can’t wait to be in a community setting where there will be others to help me grow further than I can on my own. I feel ready to be challenged in areas I know I am weak in, to heal wounds that make me carry burdens that the Lord wants to set me free from, and to train for future mission work. I feel a fire rising in me for God and for Kingdom that I am excited to have CGA ignite even further while teaching me how to steward my talents and giftings well. This next season is going to be tough, or so I’m told. I’m ready to continue receiving all that God has for me through it though.